Wednesday, April 29, 2009

No Driving Day

Today is what I call a "no driving day." That means it is not safe for me to be behind the wheel of a car. If I thought I was tired yesterday, I had no idea what was around the corner.

Both kids were up for multiple hours multiple times. Things are not going well with the sleeping...for any of us.

The babe takes forever to settle down and go to sleep these days...the whole sunlight thing doesn't help. After we do bath time, story time, and sing a few songs and tuck in time, she proceeds to drink massive quantities of water from her sippy cup. She'll then get out of bed, stand at the gate and yell down and ask for more water and for us to put her covers on. After changing the wettest diaper in the history of the universe last night, I've decided to cut her off the H2O. No more over-hydrating. Not sure what to do about the blanket thing.

The little babe continues to wake every 2 hours to eat, but then can't settle down after eating. He farts, fusses, sometimes cries and wakes his sister, and is generally just a little cute ball of frustration. I'll admit I was pretty flat out mad at both my kids last night. I thought they were being selfish and unkind. Don't they know I'm hanging on by a thread?

The 4 month apt is tomorrow, and I'm ready to talk out a solution...even though I know docs don't have all the answers. Right now I just want someone to tell me how to fix this.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Yesterday

Last night I put on a suit (the date on the dry cleaner tag was 7/11/2005--yikes), some eyeliner and mascara, and some sandals which were not flip flops. I drove to the Canadian Embassy (all alone) and proceeded to mingle with adults. It was really great. I am still able to speak with strangers in a professional like environment and I can still answer the question "what do you do" with a smile. I was home by 9pm and in bed by 11pm. I went to sleep with a comforting feeling that I will be OK (we broke down and turned on the AC which may have helped).

Before I took off for the evening, I gave the rice cereal a try again with my son (the allergist said rice cereal is the least allergenic food you can give a baby). This time he ate a whole half a tablespoon and did not spit it up. I was pretty thrilled and plan on doing it again today. He went a 4 hour stretch last night, which I attribute to the food (granted he woke up a lot after that stretch). I am still exhausted.

I am also still waiting for a call from the allergist regarding the babe and her allergy "action plan" for school. They didn't have her chart last week when all 4 of us showed up for the appointment (not cool), so we need to go over her official testing results before we can finalize anything. I am hopeful she will not need to be in a "nut free" room. Will keep you posted.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Brain Meltdown

My son is getting up every 2 to 3 hours every night to eat. I therefore feel as though my brains are melting out of my ears. I have heard of a 4 month growth spurt, but this is ridiculous. We have his 4 month doc appointment on Thursday and I am going to ask about night weaning. I am ready for some sleep, and I think it would benefit him as well.

I know part of the problem is that I still have him in the co-sleeper next to our bed. It has made life so much easier for all the night-time feedings. I am not good at getting out of bed, so being able to simply lift him out, feed and burp him, and put him back in his little co-sleeper has been awesome. But those days may be coming to a close.

His crib is all set up in his room. We moved the babe out of her crib and into a big girl bed in February and she hasn't missed her crib at all. We lost a lot of control (she can now get out of bed any 'oll time she likes), but she was able to climb out of it which was a pretty good sign she was ready. We gave her some time to get used to the idea of "her" crib being moved into her little brother's room, and after a month of having both the crib and toddler bed stuffed in there, we moved the crib on out.

Now it may be time to move him into it. It is going to be hard and I foresee a lot of crying (both him and me). But perhaps there will be a way to combine the night weaning with the crib sleeping. I will get the doc's opinion and move forward. I need to do something as I am in a serious fog and it's really not healthy for me or the rest of my family.

In other news I'm off to a university alumni cocktail reception at the Canadian Embassy tonight. In 1996 I graduated with my BA Hons in pol sci from Concordia University in Montreal. Tonight the new President, Judith Woodsworth, will be in town to meet DC alum. I will be attending on my own without any children, which should be nice. I will also be expected to make intelligent conversation with adults, which I am dreading. Do I remember how to be a normal person in a social situation? Can I pull of wearing "business attire" after all these years in sweats and jeans? I have 9 ounces of pumped milk in the fridge so am willing to give it a shot. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Food Issues

When my Mother-in-Law was here helping with the kids last January, she cooked up a storm. Bags of scrumptious Indian food were left in our freezer. What a treat!

Sadly, every time we have a dinner from the lovely selection in the freezer, we end up paying for it. Can you guess what we had for dinner last night? My son was up A LOT. Therefore my husband and I were up A LOT. There was serious farting and general crankiness going on. The little guy also kept wanting to eat...which most likely continued the cycle. It has happened enough times that I know it's not a coincidence and I'm sorry to say that I will no longer be enjoying the smashing meals from the freezer. It is just not worth it. My son is half Indian so I expect he will get over these issues and when I'm done with breastfeeding, I will be able to return to my beloved Indian food.

In other food news, we are off to the allergist tomorrow morning to create a game plan for my daughter's upcoming enrollment in preschool. I am very nervous about sending her into the care of others. If I find playgroup stressful because of the lurking snacking dangers everywhere, how is a teacher who is responsible for a lot of kids going to keep an eye on her? I'm more than ready for her to move on and attend preschool, but I'm not ready to give up control of her environment and the snacks that cross her path. I hope we can come to a better understanding of how she will function in the real world before she actually joins it in the Fall.

My son's first allergist appointment is scheduled with the same doc for next month. But I'm going to break down and fire away some questions tomorrow as I really think he's ready to move beyond exclusive breast milk. As the rice cereal didn't sit well on Sunday, I am hesitant to try it again before we discuss it further with the doc. I am praying he will not have the same problems as his big sis...although statistically I think we may be out of luck. My fingers are crossed.

I'm Losing It

A rainy Tuesday. Blah. One child standing next to me asking me to play/read/sing/talk with her and one child chowing down at the boob cafe.

So last night I washed my hair (which is newsworthy in and of itself). By the end of my shower I had collected the hugest wad of hair on the side of the tub. Gross...I know. Every time I thought the last clump had come out, another one followed. This continued out of the shower with the brushing and blow drying. It was just not pretty. I had forgotten how I lose my hair a few months after having a baby. Those are some weird hormonal side effects, no?

My daughter has just hit my son on the head. For the second time today.

The babe is in time out and it's not even 10am. It's apparently going to be that kind of day.

Good luck rainy day Mamas!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Bob

I have not been much of a breast pumper since my son was born. But on Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning, I pumped what I could (total: 4.5 oz). I had a much anticipated hair appointment on Saturday and had to leave enough milk that my husband would be covered for feedings. I've been to this stylist once before and had been really pleased. Yesterday I had over 3 inches cut off and ended up with a bob. I don't like it. I feel like I look even more like a stay-at-home Mom now. There is no edge to this haircut and I am sad. I only go 2 or 3 times a year. ANYWAY.

We tried rice cereal with the babe #2 today. He swallowed it down like a champ and then topped it off with a feeding from me. He then proceeded to spit it all up. I think he's a greedy eater and overwhelmed his stomach. Unfortunately he's been spitting up a lot more all afternoon and evening. Not sure if I gave him way too much or it doesn't agree with him (hopefully not because of a food allergy). We'll see how it goes tomorrow. I will keep it to a super small feeding.

It was gorgeous yesterday and I got the babe out with the side walk chalk. That stuff rocks and has already proven a wise investment.

Gotta run....bath time is calling.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Taking Action

Next week the babe #2 (I need to think of new blogging names for these kids) will be 4 months old. Definitely not a newborn anymore. But aren't 4 month olds supposed to sleep well at night? All I can say is that I'm ready for some 6 hour sessions of shut eye. So after a particularly bad and blurry night, I broke down and bought some key items this morning:
  • Alimentum formula (the ridiculously expensive and hypoallergenic variety, just in case he's got the same food allergies as his big sis)
  • Rice Cereal
  • Oatmeal
He's a big boy and I don't think he's getting enough sustenance from my breast milk anymore. He wakes up every 3 hours to eat at night, and it's just not cool. After pumping only 3 ounces this morning, I have also decided that backing up with a little formula here and there won't be the end of the world. As I have a hair appointment on Saturday, I'd like to know that I can be gone for a few hours and the world will not end if there is not enough pumped milk in the fridge. I'm ready to move forward and I think he is too.

My son is also experiencing the same crazy dry itchy head his sister had. He's in the "no scratch" mittens a lot these days and I'm not happy about that (it makes for smelly hands). So I broke down and slathered on the same cream I had bought for the babe 2 years ago. This cream was about $125 when I bought it (I was desperate) and it worked relatively quickly. As there's a lot left in the tube, I decided to give it a go. Did I mention it expired a year ago and that it's a prescription item? If this makes me a bad mommy, then so be it. It's worth a try.

Taking action feels good.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Saying Good Bye

There's something special about "Mommy friends". Friends you've met along this journey of motherhood. You share a bond that you don't really form with folks from other parts of your life. The shared joys and dramas of having new children and trying to find your way through the maze of parenthood can tie you together.

Today I said good bye to a dear Mommy friend. She and her family are moving back to Canberra, Australia after 3 years in DC. I have only known her 1 year, but it was long enough to fall for her. I'm not sure if it's because it's raining outside, or because I realize it will be a long time before we see each other again, but I'm not taking it so well. It's not easy being left, just as it's not easy leaving.

Funny how good byes can make you think about where you want to be and what's in store for your future.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Nine Months Later

Whoa. What happened there? It's been nine months and I never would have guessed I could abandon my blog as long as I just have. I've truly missed writing and have beat myself up about dropping 24-7 Mommy like a hot potato. It's not that I stopped thinking about it. I would frequently compose entries in my head...never quite getting them into the computer. The more time passed, the harder it became to get back into it. I won't bother making excuses, actually, on second thought, I'll give you a few.

My last post, on July 17th, discussed my pregnancy, or the fact that I wasn't pregnant enough. As you may have guessed, I quickly became pregnant enough. I also had to deal with a semi-eviction situation.

Shortly after this post, I learnt that our landlords wanted us to move out as our family had "outgrown" the space. Unbelievable, not to mention illegal. But after much debate, we decided it was best to move out of our two bedroom row house into something bigger.

I became a woman obsessed. As my time on the Internet was spent searching for new digs, I just stopped writing. I also didn't want to start bashing my landlords and writing about housing/landlord/tenant laws.

After checking out 14 places (did I mention obsessed?), I found a large and kinda dumpy colonial house in the Tenleytown/AU Park neighborhood of DC. We went ahead and signed a lease for October 1st, which meant we had to pack up and move on out of Dupont Circle. I was pretty pregnant and dealing with a kooky toddler, so there honestly was no time for writing (or so I told myself).

After the crazy and exhausting move, someone had to unpack all the stuff and get the house set up. That became a day job for me.

Once the unpacking was mostly done, I was also mostly done with my second pregnancy (I've now realized I was pretty strung out for over half my pregnancy, which I'm guessing is not so good).

So my next, and I think extremely valid excuse, is that I had a beautiful baby boy on December 24, 2008. He was a couple hours shy of sharing his birthday with his father, and remarkably close to sharing a birthday with baby Jesus! The birth is a story in and of itself, but suffice it to say it was unbelievably awesome compared to my first experience with the babe. I can also tell you that Castor oil worked like a charm in inducing my labor. It will also clear you out like nothing you've ever experienced. But I won't get into that either as that's just gross.

So, as you can guess, for the past three and half months I have been trying to survive, to get by, to cling to my sanity, to get some rest, to not strangle my toddler, and to give both my kids (and my husband) the love they deserve. Being a second time Mom is a lot easier than being a first time Mom, except you still have the first one to take care of.

I have stories to share every day of the week and I plan on sharing a lot of them here. It is time to reclaim this part of my life. I'm sure I've lost most of the readers I once had, and for that I am truly sorry. As I don't plan on having any more kids, I think I can commit once again to my writing. After all, eventually I'm going to want to get a day job, and if anything, my blog gives me a chance to try and string some thoughts together in a sensible fashion. I also want to share my experiences with you, because every day I am learning, and I want to help others who are tackling similar situations. Being a 24-7 Mommy remains the hardest job I have ever had...some minutes of the day I love it, and some minutes of the day I hate it, but it's my life and I'm trying to embrace it.